For the first time in my life I am completely alone over Christmas. I have heard of soaring episodes of sadness and even depression over Christmas and New Year holidays; but have never experienced it firsthand. Until now. I want to share my plans for getting out of my funk and charting my course for a superb holiday.
I believe that the best way to approach a problem is identifying the cause. Once you know the real cause of a thing, you are more than halfway to the solution.
There are varied reasons behind holiday blues; the some of which are…
Social Isolation
You suddenly find yourself alone. Probably all your kids are grown up and have left home. You probably grew up in a close knit family; now all your siblings have families of their own and you seem alone. You also may be stuck in a strange city, away from home and all things familiar and you feel the weight of depression weighing you down. Possibly, with everyone travelling to connect with family, your ‘tribe’ has all temporarily migrated for the holidays.
Any of these could leave someone feeling alone and down in the dumps. But the weight can be lifted. I have some ideas that I know will work…
Plan ahead. It’s not too late to uncover fun activities going on in your city. In the mall, a church near you, a community center etc. Find out what’s scheduled and commit yourself to attending that event. You may surprise yourself for the amount of fun you will have.
Another great idea would be to seek Recommendations on Facebook for really fun things happening in your city, or the city you find yourself gracing for the holidays. I’ve found that people are eager help out with suggestions on social media.
Plan something. If you cannot find something great to do, you create the event yourself. It does not have to cost so much. You are definitely NOT the only person in your situation that you know. Why not plan a POTLUCK at a neighborhood park. You will be amazed how many people will turn out for this. You may find yourself the life of the party rather than socially isolated.
Regret
Many of us step into the year with so much enthusiasm. Alas come December we weep into our cups as we sing Carols or Auld Lang Syne; smarting for the opportunities we lost.
There is no help looking back and wondering what could have been. You may have underperformed in the year; you may have missed major milestones you planned; you may have, should have, and could have. The point is: There is nothing you can do to turn back the clock. But you can face the New Year with great optimism and strong goals.
I recommend you read my previous post on Finishing the Year Strong.
The next thing you should do is find time in the festivities to knuckle down and plan the coming year. Cast a strong enough vision that compels you to be enthusiastic and gung-ho about the end of this year and the dawning new year.
Write this somewhere you can see it regularly and draw inspiration “There’s no time like the present.” (You can download a copy on our Lizspire Social Images page)
So, learn to live in the moment, seize the day!
Grieving over the holidays
My father died early this year, and this is my first Christmas without him. Added to the fact that my entire family are scattered all over the world with their own families the holidays seemed bleak indeed.
I know I will have some moments brooding about my dad; but I have put some safeguards to help me cope. I have shared my growing melancholy with specific friends who I have asked to check up on me (by phone, email and social media) over the holidays. My commitment is to connect and talk through whatever I may be feeling.
You have to be committed talk through what you are feeling, or this failsafe won’t help.
There is a big temptation to stay in bed with a cup of tea watching movies and bemoaning my situation. I am not going to do that. Instead, I will continue our family Christmas and New Year traditions to honor my dad’s memory. They will not be a show of sadness, but a show of triumph that my dad lives on in me.
Every memory of my dad will be chased down with gratitude for his life. He lived a long and impactful life; leaving me big shoes to fill. These are what I choose to focus on.
I found this great 6 minute video on YouTube that was particularly inspiring, watch it and tell me what you think.
Did you get any great ideas? Splendid!
Lastly, I want to advice that you not take yourself too seriously. Nothing lasts forever; even holiday blues. The sun will shine again and you will be more yourself soon.
Do something really goofy and grab life with both hands. Do something that takes you off your focus. Consider these ideas:
- Start a Facebook Inspiration challenge (the kind people share the most inspiring quotes they can find for a set number of days on Facebook). This helps because it makes you think less of you and more of other people who need inspiration.
- Adopt a stray (puppy, cat, turtle etc.). Give them a safe home for the holidays and beyond.
- Take the holidays to the unprivileged. Think homeless shelter, orphanage, and retirement home.
I would really like to know how this article resonated with you and what plans you have to beat the holiday blues. Talk to me.
